Back, Really

So, yes, long time, no type. There are a variety of reasons for my absence. Some of them, below:

1) My blog was broken.
2) I was insanely busy at work.
3) Nothing interesting happened to me, and I love you too much to whine about stupid crap. (Note: This means I love you more than my friends and family.)

Briefly, here's what's been going on. Half of my friends got laid off and became full-blown alkies, which means that they can finally keep up with me. I gained and lost the same five pounds twice. And Sgt Lucky, mysteriously, has continued to hang out with me, despite the fact that I'm a drunk yo-yo dieter and allergic to his cats. (Oh, yeah. I'm also getting shots for that. My arms are swollen out to here. It's pretty insane.)

OMG

Don't look now, but I think my blog is actually ... not broken?

Economic Indicator: Booze Consumption Goes up

Lily: Do you use twitter? I've been told that if I don't, I can't call myself a modern woman. Which is funny, because there's not much I would rather NOT be.

Me: Oh, I don't think that's true. I thought cigarettes were supposed to make us modern women. Or wait - was it loneliness? I forget which.

Pause.

Me: God, why isn't it drinking time?