The Puppy Tax

Lazy blogging, I know, but I've never gotten 18 comments on a Facebook status, and I am nerdily proud of it:

Status: Jen's new favorite thing is to say, "I cannot wait til Obama fixes _____." It works for everything!

Jen Hubley at 4:32pm November 6
For example, "I cannot wait until Obama makes there be more Diet Coke in the machine." Or: "I cannot wait until Obama makes beer that works as a diet aid." Etc.

Shannon at 4:32pm November 6
Seriously?

Jen Hubley at 4:34pm November 6
Think of it as some gentle self-satire. ;-)

Shannon at 4:34pm November 6
You are too funny (;

Julia at 4:37pm November 6
I cannot wait until Obama makes rainbows happen ev-er-y day!

Jen Hubley at 4:38pm November 6
I cannot wait until Obama buys a puppy, not just for his own kids, but for EVERY. SINGLE. ONE OF US.

Julia at 4:40pm November 6
That's totally socialism, lady. Redistribution of puppies is not cool.

Jen Hubley at 4:41pm November 6
I cannot wait until Obama takes puppies from people who have TOO MANY puppies, and gives them to those of us who have TOO FEW.

Julia at 4:43pm November 6
I earned my puppies. My right to own all my puppies is in the constitution. You'll have to pry my puppies out of my cold, dead hands.

Jen Hubley at 4:45pm November 6
FINE. Then we will tax your puppies. Prepare to pay the Puppy Tax!

My Horoscope Is Good, Though

A dog tried to bite me last night. I really hope this is not an omen for 2008, because I've been having such positive feelings about it.

Stacey and I were coming back from the Dresden Dolls show, which was amazing, BTW, and going back to her place so that she could write me a check for the ticket. (Five bucks says I lose it. I still can't find my Christmas check from my grandparents.)

As we walked up Union, a guy came by with a little chihuahua on a leash.

"Aw, how cute!" I said, and leaned forward. Whereupon, the little bastard lunged at me snarling, and tried to bite my hand. When I drew back too quickly for that, he snapped at my calf. I could actually feel his nasty little teeth bouncing off my tights. If his owner hadn't pulled him back, I'm pretty sure I would have spent the rest of the first hours of '08 in the ER getting my calf reattached.

What would Cesar do?

Dogs and Their People

I'm crazy about dogs.

Five minutes after meeting yours, I'll most likely be under the coffee table with it, demanding that he or she hand over that bone. For this reason, dogs love me. Isaac, one of my favorite dog owners, claims that it's because dogs are good judges of character, but I think we all really know that dogs love a fool.

I went to visit Isaac and Cathy and their amiable mutt Molly yesterday. Molly and I had a tussle over a cloth donut - "Give me that donut! Give that to me right now!" - and then we curled up on the rug for a snooze. Cathy looked over from the computer, where she and Isaac were looking something up, and found me and her dog in a ying and yang shape on the floor.

One thing I love about dogs: They really appreciate naps.

I didn't always love dogs. Growing up, we had some bad experiences. A large black lab lived next door to us and attacked my sister once. She wasn't hurt, but I'm still not sure she forgives me for running like hell when the dog burst through the hedge.

My parents weren't dog people either. My Dad had spent much of his childhood scooping up poop from his sister's dogs, because girls in the '50s weren't allowed to touch crap, and my Mom is just plain afraid of them.

Then my sister got Luke. Luke is, for want of a better word, ridiculous. He's a yorkipoo, which is basically a designer mutt, and he spends much of his life looking for comfortable places to nap. Most of these places are on his people, either their laps or, if couch cushions are conveniently placed to prop him up, their shoulders.

He's also crazy about cheese and never does what he's told without a struggle. Also, once he gets ahold of something, he's liable to shake it til the stuffing comes out.

I love this dog, which might be terrible vanity: It's been pointed out to me that we have the exact same personality.