Sunday, December 17, 2006

Laters for Your "Fresh Air"

I've been on a few dates lately with an outdoorsy sort of fellow. What he sees in me is anyone's guess.

Sample conversation:

Him: I really like camping.

Like, outside?

Him: Yes.

Me: Where the animals are?

Him: Well ... yes. But they don't really bother you, you know. It's a cliche, but they really are more afraid of you than you are of them.

Me: I'm frightened of squirrels.

Him: ...

Me: Seriously. I had lunch in Madison Square Park the other day, and a squirrel jumped in front of me on the path and did, like, this little back-flip in the air. And then he stared at me, you know? So I screamed and my friends all looked at me like I was crazy. But he could have been rabid! Anyway, he was definitely mean-spirited. He was a vicious attack squirrel!

So ... what about hiking?

Me: I live a pretty long way from the train!

And so on. I'm an indoor cat, is my point. My favorite things - reading, writing, drinking beer, worrying, talking about people behind their backs - are all best done in an indoor setting.

Does anyone know of any outdoor-themed bars?


  1. One of my favorite bars had a treehouse up in the back. But it's been bought a few times, and now they've apparently cut down the tree that grew through the floor of the 2nd floor back room. Jerks.

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  3. I just found out caribou coffee has caribou in it. That almost counts.

  4. First we evolved, then created fire, war, plague, war, war, war and now man is at a slightly more civilized area of our existence. Why go back to crapping in a hole we dug ourselves?

  5. closest there is that I know of is Rainforest Cafe. If he camps with gorillas, that's totally the place.

  6. 3 squirrels have made their home on our porch in a Home Depot pale. I used to enjoy sitting on the back porch, but now if I go out they jump out of the pale and bum rush me. I suffer from a recurrent nightmare where they somehow break into my apartment and take my husband hostage for nuts.

  7. Animals don't bother me as much as insects.

    At least you can scare a rabid squirrel with a few stomps and a shout. Trying the same thing with a mosquito just leads to an itchy bite and muddy pants.

  8. Camp is a great bar in Carrol Gardens that has Wood cabin decor, smores and more. It's actually a really cool bar. And definitely the outdoor theme in effect.

  9. Camping is for refugees.

  10. You know what I like about camping? Nothing.

  11. Actually, whenever I camp--once a year or so--we tend to read, write, drink beer, worry, talk about people behind their there's that.

    Also- some guys into camping only camp with their could definitely avoid it if it gets serious.

    I agree with jayman: Insects scare the crap out of me.