The Jennie Monkey

I don't know why I just remembered this, but it's pretty funny and offers some insight into why men and women are doomed to torture each other, which is always a favorite topic of mine.



I'm terrible at getting presents for people on actual holidays. I don't know if it's some sort of passive aggressive rebellion against the commercialization of blah blah blah, or whether it's that I'm lazy and broke ... oh, wait. Maybe I do know what's responsible for the phenomenon. Hmm. Anyway. The point is that I rarely give gifts on time, so when I was shopping a week before last Christmas, and saw an adorable little monkey ornament in Pier 1 that I knew Isaac and Cathy would like, I was sort of proud of myself for a) finding a cute gift for Isaac and Cathy and b) finding myself doing any Christmas shopping at all, especially a week before the actual holiday. But of course I'm incapable of delaying gratification, so I gave it to them an hour after I bought it, wrapped up in tinfoil like the fruit portion of Timmy's first lunch.



None of this has anything to do with men and women and the funny funny differences between them, oh pillar of observational humor, huzzah. That comes later.



Isaac wasn't home yet when I went over to their house, so I gave the monkey to Cathy and demanded that she open it for both of them. (I told you I was bad with delayed gratification.) She opened it up and started laughing immediately.



"It's a little JENNIE MONKEY," she said. "It looks JUST LIKE YOU."



It kinda did. I mean, you know, with more fuzz and all.



"Let's put it on the tree," she said. "And make Isaac find it."



We put it on the tree, and a short while later, Isaac came home. Cathy dragged him into the livingroom and pointed at the tree.



"Our present from Jen is somewhere on this tree," she said. "And if you can't find it, it means that you don't love me anymore."



Isaac looked at her with squinty eyes, and said. "That's a girl game." Then he pointed at the tree. "And that's a Jennie monkey, right there on that branch."