Sunday night, I hung out with my family. My sister was in town, and my cousin Rolfe came over. We had steak. And then, because I'm obsessed now, I showed my mother my Web site.
"The best part is the statistics," I told her, clicking away from the main page into the back end, where shady technical things happen that I pay other people to do, because I'm too stupid to understand them. I clicked on the Web stats section, and showed her the many little charts and graphs and things of that nature.
"Oooh, look at that!" she said, in exactly the same voice as she'd used when I brought her an egg-carton caterpillar when I was four. "What's that mean?"
"This means I've had eighteen unique visitors," I explained.
"What's a visitor?"
"It's a computer, basically. Your laptop here is a visitor. My laptop is a visitor. Meg's computer is one, and so on."
"Eighteen! That's good."
"Over four days, it's not bad. But look at this: I've been picked up by two spiders so far."
"I'm not generally a fan of spiders, but that's great!"
"Do you know what a spider is?"
"I caught one of them smelling the toilet brush yesterday when I was cleaning," she said, smiling brightly. "And I bashed the little fucker into a pulp."
"Well, that will teach him a damn good lesson. Can I see the computer for a second?"
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i'll bite ...wtf is a spider?
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