Up until recently, I really thought I'd grow up someday.
Someday, I thought, babies will seem like a really good idea, and I'll want to date someone for longer than it takes a dairy product to expire, and I'll want to buy a house, and I'll want to keep better track of my finances. I'm 28 years old, and I'm just not there yet.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately, because my sister is visiting. My sister is four years younger than I am, but she's married. This means that despite what it says on her driver's license, she's more mature than I am by a decade.
She has glasses that match her plates. She manages the family finances, without bouncing checks or fudging anything when her statements arrive, to make her check register match up. She has a big honkin' ring, and a brand new last name, and she likes babies. She has friends who have babies, married people like her, and as far as I know, not one of them has ever thought, "Maybe I'll just leave this little fucker on the train." Which is probably what I would think, were I compelled to carry a teeny little person around all day.
I, on the other hand, have no savings account. I can barely manage to keep my laundry caught up, never mind run a household. And just this morning, I lost my car keys and I have no idea where they are.
I think maybe I'm going to have to settle for being a fantastically eccentric aunt.
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There is nothing wrong with being the crazy aunt!
ReplyDeleteI told my parents when I was 6 that I wanted to be spayed after watching our dog have puppies. I've stuck with that ever since. I'm 33 now.
Nice! It's good to know that I've got people out there.
ReplyDeleteI must say I have never thought of leaving Freddie on a train however he has tried to ditch me there several times.
ReplyDeleteSee now? That's why you're a good mom.
ReplyDeleteFor the record, although I do manage the finances, it is purely by default, and I am notoriously bad at it. Also, if we didn't have over-draft protection, I'd probably bounce a check about every other month.
ReplyDeleteI'll betcha there are plenty of people who consider leaving their kids on the train. It's just a good thing MOST of them don't do it.
Jen, you would be interested to know that your responsible sister and I got absolutely shitty on beer and Seagrams this weekend at a bar and proceeded to urinate in the parking lot of an adult superstore while eating Hebrew National hot dogs purchased from a seedy vendor and then took your 13 year old brother-in-law to a kegger where he was hit on by a newly-divorced woman in a tube top while being peer-pressured to drink and fornicate with said girl by a bunch of screaming alpha males (he'll be fine. he's busy repressing as we speak. These are not the actions of responsible people. The checkbook is balanced. But it is covered by beer and something that I think is blood or semen.
ReplyDeleteAnd with that... Jenny you stink.
Brother John
I am sending you noogies via the Internet. E-noogies. You little barrrrstard.
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