Ma Smash: On top of everything else, the fucking boiler broke.
Me: Oh, no!
Ma Smash: I'm standing in a puddle right now.
Me: Did you call the guys?
Ma Smash: Yeah, they're "on their way." Whoop-te-do!
Me: (Stifling a laugh.) Oh dear. Maybe you should go to a hotel?
Ma Smash: I might. I just might.
Me: I think you should. Go to the Sheraton, watch some premium cable, order room service.
Ma Smash: Go to the bar. I'm so pretty now, I bet I could get guys to buy me drinks!
Me: (Failing to stifle a laugh.) Yes, that's true!