I was out sick today, but I was online for three or four hours anyway, because I'm addicted to the Internet, and because I write the daily newsletter, and it's daily, so I have to write it every day. (See?) After I finished, I went back to bed for four hours, and then got back up and checked my mail.
Someone had written me a little fan letter in response to my newsletter. It began by telling me that I appear to have "woefully low self-esteem" and asked me if I knew how predictable my writing was. "Gratingly formulaic," in fact, is the term he/she used. (I couldn't tell the gender of the writer, since the email address -- an AOL address, ho ho -- didn't give me any clues as to the first name.)
Now let me ask you this: If you were concerned about someone's self-esteem, would you write to them to tell them that they suck?
Ever the professional, I wrote back and said: "Hey, thanks for writing! Hope you enjoyed those camera tips!" Oy.
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You should arrange for said annoying emailer to recieve the tine-y end of a fork in the cornea.
ReplyDeleteI may be misunderstanding, so let me see if I've got this right...
ReplyDeleteSomeone (of unknown gender) who subscribes to your daily newsletter (and apparently reads your newsletter) then writes to you complaining about how bad it really is, all the while only using your newsletter as a springboard for personal attacks and suppositions?
Thank god she-im was able to spare time out of her-is busy and fufilling life to point out your flaws. How else could you possibly be expected to know these things?
You have to love the courage of internet anonymity. Fuck him (or her).
p.s. Not talking about our fork-y anon... just the way people will say absolutely anything to absolutely anyone, when in real life they wouldn't ask someone to move off their foot until their toes fell off.
Obviously, the uber coolness of the Smash is lost on this person. The AOL email address should have been a clue to his/her cluelessness.
ReplyDeleteApparently some people don't have enough intelligence to appreciate the superior writing skills and sense of humor of the Smash.
ReplyDeleteWhen the flu bug veil is lifted, the crystalline shard wit of the Smash will smote down upon thee with a vengance, AOL-ster.
ReplyDelete--Taupey
what a loser! 'cause emailing someone from an annoymous email address is not a symptom of loserness and low self-esteem at all, right? and she-im (i like that jayman) is still using aol. that might be punishment enough.
ReplyDeleteand, annonymous # 1: who are you? you totally have no respect for people with fears of eye injuries, huh? cause that comment kinda made me have to cower under my bed. and it's dusty down there.
like nick said, they just don't get the smash coolness factor and the fact that they are doing it anonymously is just silly...she-im (I too am liking that) is just jealous.
ReplyDelete