I actually haven't been sick for a couple months now, so I guess I shouldn't complain. Since "shouldn't" has never been a convincing argument to me, especially when it comes to complaining, let's just skip right over that part, OK?
I'm fucking sick again, and I'm fucking sick and tired of it. I'm so sick and tired of it, that I'm cursing. Which is hardly ever convincing. Because deep within my soul, where most people have a big black Baptist church lady who sings the blues, or else a pale gray disapproving version of their parents, I have Katharine Hepburn and Lucille Ball, locked in a eternal dorky missish struggle for control of my mannered mincing little self. So no swearing, most of the time. I'm not good at it.
Complaining, now. There's something I'm good at.
Oh! In cheerier news. I just got this:
Please register your bets as to how long it will take for me to figure out how to make it work, and bear in mind that I frequently burn myself on the toaster oven and didn't use e-mail until 1998.
Oh, that gadget? It's totally useless. Why don't you send it to me, and I'll dispose of it properly for you? ;-)
ReplyDeleteI burn myself on the toaster too, and on stuff that comes out of the microwave. lets see, I figure it'll take you two days with the manual and maybe a week without it (I'm still figuring out my cell phone and it's been a year and a half. To make myself feel better I tell myself that it's just trying to keep me interested so I won't get an upgrade and abandon it)
ReplyDeleteI'm going to have to take the 'lost before you figure out how it works' line. But, I always loose the office pools too.
ReplyDeleteAs a New Yorker-to-be, please remember to use headphones other than the ones that are provided. Apparently iPods are quite in demand for subway thugs and they identify them by the white headphone wires. (Just a little more to worry about.)
ReplyDeleteFack, dude. Are you kidding me?
ReplyDeleteNot exactly staggereing numbers, but there were zero reported iPod robberies on the subway last year and 50 so far this year. Plus, I read about a pack of 13 year olds ganging up and mugging a 25 year old guy for his iPod up near the reservoir. It's all about the white wires. I still love my city though.
ReplyDeleteIt's no joke. I heard the same about those iPod thugs on World News Tonight or one of those news outlets with a man wearing a tie and sounding very authoritative. So be careful.
ReplyDelete