Monday, July 31, 2006

Gah! Snarfle! Erg!

The evil cold has returned. Not full force, mind you: Just enough so that I feel cranky and look worse. It's really possible that I have pneumonia or something. Or, alternately, that I've been such a crabby mccrabpants that I gave myself a cold, using the awesome powers of my own negative vibes.

Why all the negative vibes? Well, I'll tell you.

1) It's fegging hot outside. My deodorant has completely ceased to work, I can't wear jeans more than once, and even in my air conditioned apartment, I start sweating every time I so much as wash a dish or write a check. (Which is why I'm going to stop doing both immediately.)

2) I went to a wedding on Sunday. It was beautiful. However, it did make me wonder if, oh, say, a 30 year old person who has never dated anyone for more than two months at a stretch might want to get a bit concerned about, you know, dying alone.

3) I feel like poo. We've covered that already.

4) People are stupid and they smell worse than me. The guy sitting next to me on the subway this morning smelled like untended balls, and it was not OK with me, thanks for asking. Also, everyone has 9 screaming kids with them all of a sudden. This being Park Slope, capital neighborhood of over-eager parents, many of the kids are bilingual and can holler in two languages.

5) I have a lousy attitude and blah blah blah.

How are you all holding up?

7 comments:

  1. "untended balls" got me. Got me good.

    lololol

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  2. Wait. That doesn't sound right...

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  3. sounds like you need some emergen-C... don't tell my boss this, but the hot weather is actually why I'm coming in early and staying late - not just because I'm a dedicated worker bee...

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  4. Thith ith thilly. Thith thupid thmelly thcorching thuff ith tho thitty that I'm MELTing. At leatht my lipth are thagging tho that I cannot thpeak dithtinctly.

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  5. well atleast now we know the 4 points of why you're crabby...i giggle at some of your posts, this would be one of those times! uggh 101 degrees is not cool with me!!!

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  6. I, too, am tired of apparently living in the rainforests of Nicaragua. Yesterday I think I saw a toucan.

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