Tuesday, October 4, 2005

Facts You Probably Didn't Know ... Til Now

Everyone's last name is actually McGee, unless they've had a haircut, in which case, their name is O'Reilly, as in "Haircut O'Reilly." This is true no matter what the nationality of the person in question, or ethnicity, or what-have-you.

The first name is optional, but it should have something to do with their personality or habits, or refer to recent events in their life. This morning, for example, I was talking to a friend of mine who is a vegetarian, and I informed him that his name was "Ricedream McGee." Shortly after that, we began discussing the fact that he is a godless communist (like most of my friends), and so we changed his name to "Ricedream 'Che' McGee."

I am alternately:

Freckles "Fist of Fury" McGee
Complainy Complainerson McGee
Keep-On-Makin'-That-Face-It'll-Freeze-That-Way McGee
Get-Out-of-My-Goddamn-Fridge-Right-Now McGee (thanks, Ricedream)
Yawny McNeedsaNap McGee
Fatty McStufferson McGee
Mrs. Maximillian M. "Mac" McGee

...and, after next weekend, hopefully...

Haircut O'Reilly

Feel free to add your own. We're all McGees here.
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12 comments:

  1. lisaOctober 4, 2005 at 12:00 PM

    There was this dude that sat across from me in my very quiet office that would eat Burger King really loudly, at like 3pm every day. I hated him, because how do you manage to crunchify your burger, and also, ew. So I named him Crunchy McLatelunch. I guess we can tack on a Mcgee.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousOctober 4, 2005 at 12:49 PM

    Freckles "Fist Of Fury" McGee
    Twas addressed
    by a stranger as 'wee'
    To prove the gent's error
    She unleashed her terror
    And now poor bloke just can't wee

    I'll keep god-awful limericks to a minimum as best I can...

    ReplyDelete
  3. copyranterOctober 4, 2005 at 1:22 PM

    Cranky McFuckFace...McGee (that's me)

    ReplyDelete
  4. amberanceOctober 4, 2005 at 1:52 PM

    I know I guy who I always call Big Dick McGee. Um, for no reason. No reason whatsoever. Ehem. I'm going back to work now.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Jennie SMASH!October 4, 2005 at 2:01 PM

    Amber, when you lie, it makes the Baby Jesus cry.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Nick DouglasOctober 4, 2005 at 4:26 PM

    Psst. Your Gawker account's URL is borked. Remove an http.

    Nicky McNitpickerson

    ReplyDelete
  7. Jennie SMASH!October 4, 2005 at 4:42 PM

    I know! I tried to remove it today, but it didn't work. Erg.

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousOctober 4, 2005 at 6:22 PM

    what if you really are a McGee? (I am)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Jennie SMASH!October 4, 2005 at 6:38 PM

    Then you're a hyphenate: Anonymous Posty Posterson McGee-McGee (Squared).

    ReplyDelete
  10. Barbarian02003October 5, 2005 at 12:50 PM

    I work in a lab. I am a woman. They keep it cold. Thus, I am Fridgedy Nipple McGee.

    ReplyDelete
  11. MegadethOctober 6, 2005 at 9:41 PM

    Megadeth O'Reilly!

    (My stripper name is Barney Rosenberg - y'know that one where you take your first pet's first name and pair it with ... oh, nevermind...)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Phaedrus The CatOctober 6, 2005 at 9:52 PM

    What you didn't know about me, Mrs. Ladywhoabandonedmeinboston McGee (soon to be O'Reilly) are my following aliases:

    Munchkin McGee
    Fuzzypants McGee
    Mr. Furry Scratchypants McGee to you sir!
    Spongebob Hairpants McGee
    PawSox McGee

    Love, Spongebob Hairpants McGee

    ReplyDelete

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