Friendsterly fella

A gentleman contacted me on Friendster today to express his opinion that I am a cutie, and to ask me to go look at his very special pictures, which he hoped had not been edited yet by the staff. Because I didn't just fall off the turnip truck yesterday, I was able to deduce that the pictures would most likely be dirty. And so I clicked over to them right away.



There, on my screen, bold as you please, was a rather large, uncircumsized, distinctly purple penis. It was clearly this guy's penis. Not that there was anything wrong with it, but it wasn't a professional penis. It didn't have its own makeup artist, or anything. Is there a job like that, on porn shoots? Professional penis wrangler? I bet there is.



Anyway, my point is that men are just crazy about their dicks and won't shut up about them. The average guy is more fond of his penis than female comedians are about menstruation jokes. It's a headscratcher.



I used to babysit for this little kid who was so crazy about his penis that he ran all over his house with it hanging out his pants. Sometimes he'd hold it out for us to see. At arm's length. I don't even have a penis, and I felt sympathetic pain. He was kind of a pervy little kid altogether, come to think of it. As one point, he ran up to me and slapped me on the ass while I was talking to his parents about their plans for the evening.



"Now, ha ha, son, you know we don't do that," his father said, nervously.



"Yes, we do," the kid scoffed. "You do that to Mom all the time."



Ah, kids. Precious little lambs.